My Terms and Conditions (and Why They Are Necessary)

The vast majority of my clients are really lovely, lovely, lovely people. They find my site, decide they can trust me, book an appointment, show up on the agreed date, and politely wait for me to be ready at our agreed time. When I open the door they are very often a bit nervous or anxious but they have taken a slot in my diary so they have the respect and personal integrity to show up as they said they would. We then go on to have an amazing session, their nerves soon vanish and they leave restored, happy, connected, and feeling alive again.

 

Because the vast majority of my clients are such lovely people, who like me, have developed personal integrity and have a natural respect for other people, I have resisted the oft given advice that I should take non-refundable deposits from all of my clients at the time of booking. I work with energy and haven’t wanted to bring in the energy of distrust into my business. I sincerely believe that if I don’t trust the people who book with me, I will draw people who are not trustworthy into my life.  

 

My approach has worked for many years but it is not without its difficulties.

 

The first is I have limited availability, I only work with one client per day. Which means if that one client cancels and I cannot fill the slot, I am severely impacted financially. Mine is a person to person business and, I think, some people who, say, sell products instead of services, or are employed rather than self employed, or have immense wealth privilege, cannot really wrap their heads around the implications of that. 

 

What makes it more frustrating is that I always have quite a few people on a waiting list who would want to fill that slot if they knew about it in time to make arrangements.

 

So, reluctantly, in response to the few who have, for whatever reason, the lack of respect to cancel their appointments in a timely fashion I have been forced to introduce my first T&Cs:

 

• Any cancellation, for whatever reason, made with less than 48 hours notice will incur a cancellation fee – 50% of my current 90 minute massage rate.  Payment to be made on the day of cancellation by payment link (Sumup) which I will send you. 

• Any cancellation, for whatever reason,  made with less than 24 hours notice will incur a cancellation fee – 100% of my current 90 minute massage rate. Payment to be made on the day of cancellation by payment link (Sumup) which I will send you. 

 

I am also conscious that because of the nature of the service I provide, there are people who face inner turmoil and resistance about reaching out and receiving my services. One of my reasons for writing my blog posts is to provide good quality information about me, my services, my personal journey and to offer a different way of seeing sex and human relationships that may be of help as they deal with their own feelings of doubt, turmoil and resistance. 

 

I do have deep empathy for people who resist the appointment they have made with me. And, I have found it difficult to hold both my empathy for the difficult journey some of my potential clients are on and my own boundaries about not having my time wasted. 

 

From a business perspective it makes no sense to book someone who has a history of letting me down, but I’m not just a business woman, I am also a  loving human being who can feel when someone is in pain and I want to be of service. I will always give someone a second, third, fourth, fifth chance. 

 

It is hard to break free from societal conditioning and not everyone can dive into the deep end, there are many toe dippers out there who just need some gentle encouragement.

 

But, gentle encouragement is not of service if it is only gentle and there is no encouragement! There are only so many ways I can offer reassurance by text/Whatsapp or email. Eventually the highly anxious client who really wants the transformational experience I offer but can’t bring him/herself to make it to my front door needs, still gentle, but also firm encouragement. 

 

This is my third T&C:

 

• For certain individuals who, for whatever reason, have found themselves repeatedly cancelling appointments, I will only take a further booking from them with a 50% (of the service they are booking) non-refundable and date & time-specific deposit.

 

Instead of blocking “repeat offenders”, I have chosen instead to be kind AND boundaried. I hope that by having more “skin in the game” they are able to overcome their resistance and finally make it to my door.

 

Resistance to personal growth is an interesting thing. At one level we really want the growth, we know we are stuck in lives that are making us miserable and we have “stumbled” upon a path that seems to offer us an alternative. We want to take the path, but we face deep inner resistance to it. Sometimes the resistance is really clear, like a voice in our heads that shows up to ridicule the path, or judge it, criticize it, shame it or dismiss it in one way or another. Other times the resistance is more subtle, so subtle that we do not recognise it as ours. 

 

The first path that was offered to me was from a friend and neighbour in my village who saw how stuck I was and knew she could help. She invited me to join the 3 days of training she was running in a local hotel, free of charge, as her guest. I made it for days 2 and 3 which were on a Saturday and Sunday, but I could not manage to find a way to organise the childcare on day 1 (Friday). Towards the end of the final day when I was buzzing with excitement at all that I had learned and filled with regret for missing out on a whole third of her magical content, she made the point, to the whole room, that external factors – the ones we think we have no control over – that show up to block us from receiving new opportunities in our lives, are, actually, manifestations of our own, inner resistance.

 

I realised that my “inability to find childcare” was a form of this resistance. I have clients who have used that one on me and it always makes me smile (a bit) and roll my eyes (a lot) because it reminds me of when I lost out on so much transformation thanks to exactly the same excuse.

 

So when clients repeatedly message and to say, “My car’s broken down”, or “I have to take my mother to hospital” or “My train has been cancelled”, I hear their most recent excuse and I know I am hearing it from someone with deep, unconscious, resistance to the journey they want to take with me. Which is why I no longer just say, “Hey no problem, these things happen” and will instead ensure they have skin in the game to help them overcome their inner resistance the next time they book.

 

Of course not all “repeat offenders” face resistance, some, sadly, just lack manners and respect. My intent is that T&C #3 will concentrate their minds enough to show me the respect I require. And of course, many will not want their bad habits to cost  them money so they won’t book me at all. Which is fabulous, I will have space in my diary for the lovely, lovely, lovely people who manage to arrive on the right day, at the right time to share a beautiful experience with me.