Have you ever noticed how everyone is constantly trying to impress everyone else? In every human interaction in the “civilised”, modern, western, patriarchal world we put on a mask with every other human we meet to impress them with the appropriate, edited version of ourselves.

For women the mask requires us to look good, be witty, intelligent and interesting enough -but never ever too clever or too controversial. Our mask requires us to constantly massage male ego.

Causing discomfort to men is one the Great Crimes women commit under patriarchy.

For men the mask requires a combination of boastfulness, swagger and a pumped up “got my shit together and am acing life” version of masculinity. Their mask requires the complete negation of vulnerability of any kind whatsoever.

Admitting vulnerability is one of the Great Crimes men commit under patriarchy.

So, here we all are – strong queens impressing upon everyone that we are really sweet, docile, servile souls and sensitive, loving, compassionate, kind men swaggering around in man-suits that completely oppress and deny their true sensitive selves.

We have all been denying the true breadth of our humanity to fit into boxes prescribed by patriarchy for so long – multiple lifetimes – that we have almost lost contact with who we really are.

Almost. The anger of women (often expressed passively as sexual shut down) is, I believe, best explained by the fury at being held in such a dishonoured role for far too long.

Correspondingly, I believe the mental health epidemic in men is driven by a need to reconnect with the emotional and spiritual parts of themselves that patriarchy has been amputating for thousands of years.

The mask, or ego, is programmed into us from the moment we are born and our gender is determined by the (generally) male doctor in attendance.

Girls go home to pink bedrooms, boys to blue (interestingly in Victorian England pink was considered a strong boy’s colour and blue an appropriate, feminine girl colour).

Girls are clothed in soft dresses and skirts to look pretty however much this interferes with learning to crawl, stand, walk and climb.

Boys are dressed in hard blue denim and army khaki however much this tough material discomforts and restricts movement in their young bodies.

We are all so used to it that we barely notice the endless subtle, and not so subtle, ways in which girls are programmed into being pretty and nice and boys are programmed into being tough and strong.

It is ALL programming, and in this harsh binary divide of the genders we all lose so much of our humanity. Girls lose the ability to play loudly and lead gangs of children in battles against imaginary foe. Boys lose the ability to sit quietly, contemplate, feel sad – feel anything.

Girls want to lead and run. Boys want to sit and cry. Not all the time. But we all want the opportunity to experience it and do it all.

Most importantly girls absolutely do not want to grow up in a society which believes it is still their exclusive role to care for the home and do all the incredibly boring and time demanding chores that no-one finds satisfying and enjoyable.

And boys do not want to grow up in a society in which they think it is their sole responsibility to financially support a growing household.

Patriarchy requires women to be too small and men to be too big.

We all suffer.

I am a woman who feels the rage in every cell of my being, I really do. I discipline myself to direct it at the system of oppression and not at men – the other victims. But when I am faced with a man behaving in a toxic, programmed manner my rage surfaces and I am at risk of committing woman’s Great Crime against patriarchy.

Sadly, many, many men continue to behave in a toxic programmed manner because:

• They have been programmed.
• The programming is subtle, consistent and relentless – how do you see what is designed not to be seen?
• They are terrified of removing the mask because the mask, for most of us, has become our full, conscious, identity. What is left once it is removed?

Which is why when some of my lovely clients suggest we start the session with a nice chat to get to know each other, I smile knowingly and reply, “Best not.”

A get-to-know-you chat is code for “I will work hard to impress you so that you will be willing to have sex with me.”

The problem is that I am a woman. And we have immense rage against the mask that is still trying to impress us.

The harder you try the more likely you are with every word you utter to make my cunt clamp tight shut.

It’s not your fault – it is your programming I find infuriating and deeply unsexy – but until you do something to change the programming it really is better if we avoid the “nice” chat.

Beneath the programming you are a beautiful soul. Beneath their toxic programming every single person is a beautiful soul. I truly believe this.

And, I have always found men to be the very best versions of themselves when I am having sex with them.

Sex (by which, I am sure you know by now, I mean using bodies to activate and access our sexual energy) strips us back to our basic, fundamental, original, true selves. We are closer to our truth in the intimacy of sex than at any other point in our “awake” lives. By “awake” I mean non-sleeping and I used speech marks around the word because how many of us are truly awake?

How many of us are just robotically playing out roles assigned to us at birth and reinforced every day of our lives since?

In conscious sex we wake up. We feel an energy in our bodies which defies our years and it shakes us out of our dazed state.

This energy is in all of us. Lying within, like a coiled snake, until it is awakened. Often depicted as a snake or a dragon, our life force, creatrix energy lies within all of us – connecting us to the energy that runs through all of life and the planet herself.

During conscious, intimate, loving sex it is released. Bathed in this energy we are freed from the limited egoic role we have all been programmed into. Sex literally is a portal to The Divine – this divine energy within us and through it to divine consciousness itself.

Which is why the men I have sex with become bigger, better, bolder, fuller, richer versions of themselves. In describing my services on my website I liken it to becoming god-like and I genuinely mean it.

Of course, I don’t mean god in the patriarchal sense of power-over-others. I mean god-like in a pre-patriarchal sense – a strong, deeply compassionate, fully empowered, bold, loving, creatrix life force energy. I mean Divine Masculine.

And somehow, my whole adult life, I have had the capacity with my hands, my body and my cunt to activate this in my male lovers which is why I created Anabelle in 2016. My experience of sex with men is that they are divine. Their bodies are divine, their cocks are divine, their energy and devotion to my pleasure is divine.

So why are men so disappointing when I am not having sex with them?! What is going on for men outside of the intimacy of powerfully connecting conscious sex for them to be such… *pause to select the words carefully*…. lesser versions of themselves?!

Not all of them, all of the time. But most of them for a lot of the time!

In other blog posts I write about the emotional amputation of our men by patriarchy and I started this piece talking about how our ego selves are constantly trying to impress an edited, socially approved, version of ourselves on others.

Patriarchy requires us to conform and fit in. The price we all pay to fit in is a sense of belonging – in our own bodies, in our intimate relationships and within our community.

Conscious sex is an invitation back into belonging. Connection and belonging within your own body, with your partner’s body and with the energy within both bodies and beyond. Conscious sex awakens a deep sense of belonging within us which is why is so very, very powerful.

When you remove small talk and the getting-to-know-each-other chats you are able instead to spend time beyond the constructed, egoic version of yourself – the person you have been conditioned to be – and be seen as the real you – the deeper, soul connected, powerful, divine version of you.

Sexual energy helps us to connect with our power. During conscious sex we feel healed, we feel whole, we feel magnificent. We finally belong. For a while we are freed from the egoic terror of being a separate, isolated being in a vast cosmos. We connect to the truth that we have always been connected, have always belonged – that we are a part of the cosmos.

We feel this truth in every cell of our being and it is so much more connecting than a getting- to-know-each-other chat.

Because how can you connect with another human being when you are disconnected from yourself?

I don’t want to spend any more time with patriarchy’s programmed egoic masks than I have to. I want to spend time dancing in the light in the arms of a magnificent, reconnected god.

I desire sex with men who have truly connected with their Divine Masculine and know how to use their divine powers to ignite my body and worship her as an embodiment of The Divine Feminine.

Which is why when P arrived for his first Musubi/Kama session with me today I did my utmost to steer us away from any chance of a getting-to-know-each-other chat. Whilst he showered (his request) I removed my clothes so that when he came back naked and nervous he would be greeted by his whore, naked and magnificent.

There would be no room for nice chats!

My ploy worked. He did return from the bathroom, as predicted, nervous and slightly hunched over with his hands covering his genitals. I greeted him with a full fronted nude smile and ushered him into the warmth of my room and my arms. I kissed him and he moaned. His back straightened. His cock hardened and nudged against my thighs seeking out my cunt.

In an email to me P had expressed frustration that he is every woman’s best friend but none of them want to go further with him. So, between kisses, pressing my breasts against his chest and my pubic mound against his warmth I said, “I do not want you to be my friend. I want you to be my lover. I want you to fuck me really hard.”

Leaving those words to land in his mind I slid down his front, commanded him to stand proud and took his generous girth in my mouth. A freshly showered cock is particularly sweet so I spent time rewarding him for his care and thoughtfulness before returning to share the taste of his sweet cock with his soft mouth.

I find mouths so boring when they are talking to impress me, but when they are kissing either my mouth or my cunt I find them endlessly delicious and fascinating. Like Cleopatra I think one of the best uses of the male mouth is cunnilingus. Now that’s the way to impress a woman!

P had booked a Musubi/Kama session which starts with a meditation leading into a massage and then into full sex. We were fast moving towards full sex. I checked in with the paying client – who much to her chagrin is not my cunt – and he confirmed that he did want to start with a massage.

“I promise you that you’ll feel his beautiful cock – patience darling, patience” I whispered internally to the powerful force within me that did not, in that moment, want to show much patience.

And I asked him to lie on the bed so that we could begin the massage.

His body, starved of touch during the many years in which he has been every woman’s best friend, quivered to my touch. He moaned and pushed back against my hands and my body. Every part of his body that was touched by any part of mine responded with deep gratitude.

His feet curled around my breasts. His fingers entwined with mine. His back arched as I slid over him. His anus pulsated and throbbed when I gently entered him. His bum lifted in the air when I stroked his perineum. This was a body coming alive. I could feel him reconnecting to Divine Masculine within.

When I asked him to roll over his beautiful cock was soft. I wasn’t surprised – the massage had been a deeply relaxing full-bodied experience and I remembered how his cock sprung to life when I had kissed P earlier. I knew which buttons to press.

So, I did.

I rubbed oil onto his chest, around his belly, over his thighs, over and around his cock and balls and then I placed my body over his and glided up to receive my first kiss in half an hour. It was very deep, very passionate and his cock responded exactly has I had predicted it would.

I enjoyed the sensation of kissing P whilst teasing my cunt with his firmness and then, before my cunt got too bossy and demanding again, I glided back down over his body to take up position for a lingam massage.

I was determined to include a lingam massage in the session because I think it is one of the most powerful ways for a man to reconnect with his Divine Masculine. If P was to transition from being every woman’s best friend to being their lover his mindset needed re-wiring from safe, a-sexual friend to an honouring and devoted lover – he needed to reconnect with his Divine Masculine.

My Divine Feminine worshipped and honoured his cock using my hands to whisper new truths into his lingam. With the music playing, frankincense (scent of Divine Masculine) burning, my hands, intent and energy, initiated P into his Divine Masculine.

When I felt the time was right, I re-positioned myself, slipped on a condom and took his lingam inside me. My cunt was delirious and squirted almost immediately. She had been patient and waited until the time was right and it was so, so right.

As we fucked, I leant over him and asked permission to use words. He nodded his ascent so I whispered new truths to re-wire P’s mind as we shared the most incredible sexual energy between us.

“Repeat after me” I directed, “I am Patrick (I purposefully used his whole name, not Pat, the name his friends use*) I am Divine Masculine.”

“I am Patrick, I love to fuck.”

“I want to fuck.”

“I want to gift the world my fuck.”

“I am Divine Masculine and my gift is my fuck.”

P, like all of us, attracts into his life the experiences and people that confirm the beliefs he carries about himself. He may think the beliefs are crazy and be frustrated with the life they are attracting to him, but until he changes them, they will continue to run the show. It is very frustrating but it is also true – our outer lives are a manifestation of our inner worlds.

I was using sex to get into P’s inner world so that I could update his beliefs. There are many, many women who would absolutely love to be fucked by his majestic cock – the work is to change his mind-set and underlying belief system so that he can energetically attract them into his life. If, in his inner world, he truly believes he is Divine Masculine he will attract women who will not settle for anything less.

This is the art of hypnosis. You relax a client, get them into a trance-like state in which their conscious ego mind goes offline for a bit and you implant new, empowering beliefs. Add in sexual energy and you have a very powerful mix. Do all of this in the most powerful witch’s cauldron – her cunt – and you move hypnosis to another level.

I spent well over half an hour hypnotising Patrick in this way. And I confess I absolutely loved every moment of it. The more he heard the truth that he is Divine Masculine, the harder his cock got and the harder he fucked me. He didn’t come quickly, as he had feared. He was Divine Masculine and he was going to honour his whore with his beautiful hard cock until she was truly satisfied.

His face was alight. His eyes were sparkling with light. His grin reached from ear to ear. He pinched my nipples for the fun of feeling my amrita flowing over his ball sack and the muscles of my cunt squeezing his cock – he pushed against the squeeze to stay inside me which deepened my orgasm every time.

The words worked. So, I continued to use them. And he mirrored me, enjoying the sound of his own voice saying words like “fuck” and “Divine Masculine” as he pushed deep into me. I am sure that until today he has been too respectful and nice to use a “horrid” word like fuck in the presence of a woman.

Ha!! Today he used it and even better he did it. Over and over and over again. He was Divine Masculine and he truly fucked his whore.

Divine Masculine doesn’t ask permission. He commands the respect and honouring that he is giving. He understands that his fuck is his gift, that his cock is beautiful so he doesn’t apologise for it. So, when he asked me if I would like to change positions I smiled and asked, “What would you like? Ask for it. State it. I am your whore. I will do as you ask.”

With a broad smile he replied, “Alright, I will fuck you from behind.”

I smiled and rolled over, pushing my bum into the air so that he could push into me. He did. And hard. I pulled the pillow up against my breasts and face allowing my deep moans to be absorbed in its softness. His hands had hold of my hips, he pulled me onto him as he thrust into me, over and over again, faster and faster until with the loudest crescendo roar he came.

My Divine Masculine lover came with the deepest, loudest exclamation of power and pleasure that I think I have ever heard and I felt amazing. My body was throbbing all over. My cunt was feeling very satisfied and pretty smug. I am pretty sure she was the source of the words I had used.

P lay on back on the bed, his cock softening and I lay on top of him to describe the daily practice I think he should do to continue the work we began today. A simple pleasure practice – 10 minutes of stroking his cock, loving his cock, feeling pleasure moving from his cock around his body and as he does so, repeating the words we had used as we fucked.

As I spoke these words into his ear, my oily breasts pressing against his oily chest, his cock hardened – cocks have a knack of responding to truth in this way. My cunt noticed immediately. “Get a condom” she entreated. I did as she commanded.

He moaned as I pulled him into me. His hips thrust up, pushing his cock in deeper. His fingers found my nipples so his balls got soaked all over again. There is something completely irresistible about a non-apologetic man.

Women don’t want arrogant lovers who take from us. We want confident, assured, honouring and worshipful lovers. Lovers that understand that their cock is a gift to woman, to be used to honour, worship and adore us. We want to be fucked by Divine Masculine lovers.

Because I want P to continue the work we started today (and it is work, however pleasurable it may be) I recorded a meditation for him after he left. The shower and sexy start had used up too much of our time to include a meditation in the session, so I thought I would record one for him to listen to every morning before he gets up and every evening before he goes to sleep.

As he listens, I hope that he strokes his cock, connects to the energy within, breathes to relax and to build the energy and repeats the words in his own mind so that they become a strongly empowering and deeply embedded belief.

If he does the practices it will work. Our outer lives change immeasurably when we change the beliefs we have running beneath the level of consciousness in our body/minds. Sexual energy is one of the most powerful creatrix energies on the planet. It creates life. It can certainly help you re-wire outdated and unhelpful beliefs.

But you do have to do the work.

So, Patrick over to you, beautiful man.

Do the work, pleasure your cock, enjoy my voice, empower your Divine Masculine and you will draw in a woman who wants to receive all that you have to give.

If you need a booster session – you know where I am, my cunt says she would be honoured to assist!

 

 

(*Patrick is not my client’s real name – I never use real names.)