I do not write to upset anyone. I write to offer a different perspective and hopefully bring about change. Circumcision is a barbaric practice, if I can save one penis from this suffering by writing my truth, then that is reason enough for me to be honest and brave. 

Deep, heartfelt apologies if I cause any further pain to anyone by doing so. 

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When I was a young child I was obsessed with collecting conkers every autumn. My sister and I would wake early and rush out to the local conker trees to gather our hoard before any competition arrived. 

My very, very favourite finds were intact but cracked shells with the conker still nestled cosily inside. My eager fingers would prize the crack open until the shell broke in half to reveal the glistening conker within. 

We were always so pleased with our early morning collection, gathered up in our skirts to transport home. Old shoe boxes, containers and even drawers filled up with our precious finds. We’d then watch, with great dismay (every year the same dismay) as our precious, glossy conkers dulled, dried out and hardened. 

We’d try to varnish them with clear nail varnish to bring back the glorious glossy coat but that didn’t halt the drying out process. Within days the glisten had completely gone, within months our beautiful, moist, plump, glossy conkers were shrunken and withered. 

To anyone who knows the joy of finding a fresh conker in its shell but has only ever known circumcised penises, this is what you are missing out on. The emergence of moist, plump, glistening glans pushing out of the foreskin as the cock hardens always reminds me of the thrill of a brand new, glossy conker on a crisp autumn morning.

As a British whore I encounter relatively few circumcised cocks, and I grieve with all of them.

The men attached to these circumcised penises generally don’t know the horror of what was inflicted on them. They were either too young when it was done to them to have any conscious memory of an intact penis (of course all boys enjoy their intact penises in the womb) and/or are too socialised into how “normal” it is to remove the most sensitive part of the male body in a barbaric and highly profitable blood sacrifice.

I don’t share my sadness with my clients. I don’t want to make them angry or upset about something that they cannot change, but I have decided that I need to write about my experiences because the omerta around circumcision is the only way this barbaric practice continues. 

Let’s begin with my experiences. I accept that I bring my own feelings about circumcision into my work, so you could argue that the pain, and sometimes anger, that I feel coming from the cock into my hands is a projection, but I don’t think it is. 

At the start of every lingam massage I hold the cock in my hands for a few moments. Cocks are so conditioned for performance – to do something, to be hard, to be majestic, to impress – that it’s very healing for them to be gently held, cupped in your hands with no expectations. I sit still for a moment, quietly, lovingly, connecting the heart opening points in my palms with his lingam in whatever state of arousal he is currently in. 

Often the cock will soften slightly as I sit and hold it, I can almost hear the sigh of relief as it does so. A few cocks cry when I sit and hold them in this way. I feel their pain and the tears almost start flowing from my eyes. 

Every single one of them has been circumcised. Every circumcised cock that I hold at the beginning of my sessions is in pain – deep emotional and spiritual pain. 

As an expert in lingam massage I understand why. They have far less sensitivity than their intact brothers. They have been mutilated. Brutalised to stop the man feeling his true sensual pleasure. 

Yet here he is, lying before me hoping to experience the pleasure that will always elude him. 

However much breathwork he does, however creative his positions, however skilled he or his partner become, he will never recover the sensation that was cut away from him at birth or in early childhood. 

The “civilised” West abhors female genital mutilation yet remains in conspiratorial silence about male genital mutilation. 

We mutilate and brutalise our baby boys (well I didn’t – thank you NHS) and are then – shock horror – horrified when our boys act in brutal ways when they reach adulthood. 

***Not all circumcised men brutalise women*** – I am categorically NOT claiming that. But I have read reports linking a society’s rates of circumcision with its levels of violence against women and even, quite shockingly, unnecessary gynaecological surgery. There is a correlation. Which makes sense – brutalised people brutalise.  

I’d come across a few circumcised cocks as a young woman, but to be honest, to the untrained eye one erect penis looks much like the next (and young women tend to avoid looking directly at any penis, erect or not), so my first circumcised cock as a professional, about 10 years ago, was a bit of a surprise and a rather sad challenge. 

He was a lovely, lovely man who was going through a divorce and navigating all the emotions and financial disputes that entails. He wanted some TLC and a session that would help him rebuild a bit of sexual confidence. I tend to suggest a Musubi massage in these cases: lots and lots of body to body contact with no pressure at all to perform, he could just lie back, receive and interact as much as he wished to.

We met, we chatted, we undressed. I massaged his back then his front, incorporating lots of deeply sensual, oily, body to body gliding and grinding, maximising contact with my breasts, nipples and pelvic mound. Everything was as it always is – stirring energies in both of our bodies, a lovely erotic, sensual massage.

I slid down his chest to sit between his legs and begin the lingam massage. His cock softened as I held it in my palms and I noticed, with curiosity more than anything else, that he was circumcised. I honestly didn’t think much more about it. 

I naively assumed that he would experience the lingam massage in much the same way as all my intact clients did. By now I had tried and tested strokes that cocks responded to quite predictably. I just assumed that this one would be no different.

But oh, how very, very different. 

To begin with I didn’t have the joy of watching glistening glans emerging from a foreskin. There was no foreskin. His glans were different to the ones I was used to in my professional experience to date – they were toughened and leathery and the deep glossy purple that I was used to was replaced by a dull skin colour.

Worse, where was his frenulum? I searched both sides of his glans to find it (hoping that somehow I had forgotten its location and that if I looked hard enough I would find it!) It was gone. Sliced away with his foreskin at whatever age this had been done to him. 

The frenulum is possibly the most important body part in a lingam massage. A bit like the clitoris is possibly the most important body part in a yoni massage. Both are packed with nerve endings. Both are different on every body you encounter, but so far, in my professional work as Anabelle, every lingam had had a frenulum, and a foreskin for that matter.

So many of my tried and tested strokes had been removed from me because this lingam in my hands had had the most important parts removed. I obviously knew what had occurred but there wasn’t a chapter in the book I had learned lingam massage from on how to deal with a circumcised lingam. 

Sadly circumcision omerta is as alive and well in the positive sex movement as it is across the rest of society. I had to think on my feet and fast.

I spent extra time massaging his balls – at least the knife doesn’t touch these (they wouldn’t – too crucial for the precious patriarchal seed) so they thankfully retained the sensitivity they were born with. I massaged the root of his cock and about two thirds of his shaft were unaffected by the “surgery” but I was at a bit of a loss about how to give sensual pleasure to the desensitised glans.

I spent a long time honouring his cock, pleasuring him as best as I could but he didn’t come. At the end he told me that he had enjoyed a “relaxing” massage and I knew it had been both sensual and erotic at times, but I also knew that his “failure” to come was the last thing he needed to rebuild confidence. I was relieved when he asked if he could see me again – I would have a second chance to get it right for him.

After he left I rushed to Google to find out how you give a lingam massage to a circumcised cock. One suggestion, I kid you not, was to spend more time massaging his ankles as this is apparently super erotic for men. I bagged the tip but I didn’t think an ankle massage was going to get my client from a “relaxing” and erotic 7 or 8 to an explosive 10.

I kept searching for what seemed quite an elusive answer – circumcision omerta again – no-one wants to admit that circumcised cocks are a completely different beast to those that are intact. 

How can you give a circumcised cock which has lost so much sensitivity a deeply sensual massage?

Finally I found an answer that frankly horrified me – it was suggested that I slap or bash the glans to mimic hard fucking. I hated the idea, but committed myself to giving it a go if he visited again.

He did and I did use my palm to bash the end of his cock as I moved the other hand up and down his well oiled shaft. It made me wince, but it made him come. Hurrah – but how awful. 

I am used to using delicate fingers and the soft palm of my hand sensuously over the glans, bashing this usually highly sensitive body part with my hand seemed the complete opposite to loving, tender, sensual or sexy. He left feeling a lot better and I felt really, really sad. And angry.

Why? Why are men routinely circumcised across the world? Why remove such an important part of their bodies for NO MEDICAL REASON WHATSOEVER? If you ask an intact man if he would willingly forgo his foreskin and frenulum, he’ll wince, instinctively cover his cock with his hands and say, “NO WAY!”

My understanding of circumcision in the patriarchal world is that it evolved to save men, like Abraham (the uber patriarch) from sacrificing their first born sons to an incredibly blood thirsty God. Where Mother Earth Goddess encouraged her people to self pleasure and fuck each other in worship of her, the new Sky God wanted blood. Not menstrual blood but the blood of young boys, on their father’s knives.

I think there is some idea that to “belong” to God’s tribe you must sacrifice that which is most precious to you, if not your whole son, then at least the most sensitive part of his body. 

For most of the centuries since the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, when Christians have felt it important to be distinct from their Jewish cousins, a circumcised penis was otherised – it was a clear sign that the man belonged to the other faith. Christians in Europe had intact penises and this practice was assumed at the creation of the NHS, much to this whore’s deep gratitude. 

Something strange and very sad happened to Christian menfolk in North America in the 19th Century. Masturbation, which had always been seen as a seed wasting sin under patriarchy, became the topic for much hand wringing and pulpit pronouncements. 

Dr Kellogg, eugenicist and nutritionist (yes, THAT Dr Kellogg), was particularly agitated by the evils of male and female self pleasure. He created cereal based breakfast products to help American youth to grow up healthy in body and mind – apparently cornflakes would stop young people wanking.

Sadly, in his fear and disgust of sexual pleasure, his remedies were far more brutal than boring breakfast cereals. For girls he recommended the use of carbolic acid to burn away the clitoris, and circumcision – without anaesthetic – so that “the brief pain….will have a salutary effect on the mind” was the remedy he used for boys. 

Fortunately for women the carbolic acid remedy didn’t take off. Unfortunately for men the circumcision remedy did, becoming mainstream, “normal,” and even a symbol of belonging amongst American men.

What America did in the 20th Century, the world mimicked. As with nylons, rock and roll, movies and popcorn, so with little boys’ penises. 

Now, much of the world removes the most delicate and sensitive part of baby’s penises, robbing these boys and the men they will grow into of a huge amount of their sensitivity and pleasure that they were born to experience.

Today in the US, baby foreskins are a multi-billion dollar industry. Hospitals harvest foreskins for their profit. Parental consent is not required. Parents who want to stop this from happening to their babies have to keep round the clock vigil. Exhausted mothers fear falling asleep in case a nurse whips their baby away to be tortured and maimed for life for the profit of the medical industry.

And it is torture. I have read many horrific reports from nurses who had to stand by and watch as newborn babies are strapped into a plastic, inverted Y shaped raft forcing their legs open and apart. Held down in this way the baby is unable to raise his knees to protect himself or respond to the hideous pain of having an area rich in nerve endings operated on. 

Kellogg’s recommendation that no anaesthesia is used is unbelievably continued to this day. The “surgical” procedure is done without anaesthetic because the baby is too young and vulnerable to cope with such medication. 

There is no thought to delay the procedure until the baby is able to withstand anaesthetics. The completely unnecessary procedure is carried out on newborns without any pain killers. 

In a supposedly rational and civilised country the very youngest and most vulnerable are mutilated, often against their parents’ expressed wishes, for the profit of the medical industry, to fit in with societal norms and, I would argue, even to this day, in an ancient ritual of blood sacrifice. 

Mothers report the hideous pain of having their babies returned to them blank eyed, staring, crying, un-soothable. The happy, nuzzling baby she had met at birth has morphed into a pained, distant, isolated child. Mothers report the guilt of not protecting their boys when they were at their most vulnerable. 

Sons report never truly bonding or trusting Mother – or any other woman – ever again. Thus patriarchy succeeds in dividing mothers from their sons at what should be the most beautiful, sacred, precious and protected time. 

I cannot tell you how happy I am that my sons were born in England.

The little boys grow up to become men and everyone – I mean everyone – pretends everything is alright. A penis is a penis right? Once erect they all look the same and “perform” the same, right?

WRONG. Oh how terribly, awfully, badly wrong you all are.

A circumcised penis is a traumatised penis. 

The delicate and highly sensitive frenulum has been removed along with the foreskin exposing the sensitive glans which naturally harden over time. Further, unlike its intact brothers the circumcised penis cannot self lubricate – that ability was removed with the foreskin. Decades later many still carry the clear scars of the procedure. The scars are not just physical.

As I discovered, the toughened glans need rougher treatment to feel any sensation. The gentle spidery strokes that make an intact lingam quiver in my hands are simply not felt by a circumcised cock. 

And it gets worse! 

Very often the man is unable to feel sensation in his genitals at all. Dr Kellogg was right. The pain of the procedure is so great that the baby chooses to never feel anything in this area ever again. Can you imagine a life devoid of feeling the tingle, pleasure and explosive joy in your penis? 

Circumcision is the triumph of patriarchy that wants sex for reproduction without the distraction of pleasure. This is why I don’t have time for anyone who claims that patriarchy exclusively harms women for the benefit of men. Baby girls are not butchered within hours of birth in any country, certainly not in the supposedly “civilised” West. 

Circumcision is patriarchy harming men.

But male circumcision doesn’t only harm men. It deeply harms women too. Women understand the deep pleasure of slow, sensual, languorous, sacred sex. Sex that is as much about “fore” play or “outer” play as it is about penetration – it’s how we get aroused and we can spend hours there. 

Reduce the pleasure that one of the bodies feels during this kind of sex and you are going to reduce the amount of time spent there. Much to the detriment of women who love it so much.

Internet porn has made a bad situation worse and it infuriates me that young intact British men are learning how to “do” sex from what they see on their screens. Porn is largely an American industry – thus the circumcised cock dominates both as the star and the consumer. 

Porn is made by (directed by, produced by, acted by, edited by, even lit by) circumcised men for circumcised men. No wonder women find most of it repulsive, it’s not made with our pleasure in mind. Worse, I think the hard, repetitive fucking it models often harms women and reduces the pleasure an intact man could have. 

I am lucky to have lovers who range from their late 80s down to their early 20s. Generally speaking, the older the lover, the better he will be. Clearly, men, like women, get better with age! But I think it’s more than that. 

I was a young woman once and I had sex as a young woman – before internet porn – with young men. And they did not fuck like the jack hammers of today do. I do not like repetitive hard fucking that goes on for the length of a wank. It is tiresome, boring and wears the soft flesh of my cunt. 

Intact men who learned how to fuck pre-internet porn are more nuanced, varied and imaginative. They vary the tempo, the position, the speed, the angle all so that they, and I, can feel a little bit more. Porn influenced lovers, even the intact ones, don’t seem interested to feel, they simply want to act the porn star in their own imagined film. It’s shit sex!!

The insidious practice of circumcising Christian men across America and much of the West is now robbing intact British men (and their women) of the true joy of sex and it’s a problem that is getting worse. 

Women know what orgasm feels like, we bring ourselves to orgasm a lot. Having sex with a jack hammer just doesn’t measure up. It is not orgasmic for us. It may look good in a porn film (does it?!) but it feels at best boring and at worst abusive in real life. 

American women are flocking to sex coaches to mend “their” brokenness, and they may well experience shut down and shame in their bodies which can be healed through beautiful, mindful practices. 

But those practices alone are not going to mend the non-orgasmic sex they are having with deeply traumatised cocks.

Someone has to name the elephant in the room. 

Circumcision is a hideously brutal practice inflicted on men and by extension the women in their lives, by a patriarchal system that seeks to suppress and oppress and deny all that is beautiful and powerful within us so that they can continue to oppress, control and exploit us. 

If any body part could summarise the exploitation and abuse of patriarchy I would suggest it’s the foreskin. 

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Further Recommended Reading: 

After my first professional encounter with a circumcised cock I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole to try and understand how such an obviously harmful practice is still so mainstream in our modern, supposedly rational world. I have tried to do what I always do in these blog posts and stick to my experiences and thoughts. If you want to explore further, as I did, I highly recommend Intact America as a place to go to for further information and, if you feel motivated, to join the campaign to stop any further genital mutilation of baby boys.

Photo by Georg Eiermann on Unsplash