Tag Archive for: intimacy

Connecting to Tenderness in The Wounded Masculine

“Patriarchy teaches boys that masculinity means control, emotional invulnerability, sexual access, public authority and distance from everything coded female. It teaches them that anger is strength, grief is weakness, care is emasculating and women’s attention is a resource owed to them if they perform masculinity correctly….

 

….This is the crisis. Not ‘men are monsters.’ Not ‘boys are born bad.’ Not ‘women good, men bad, please clap.’ The crisis is that boys are being handed a broken emotional toolkit and then told the hammer is the only instrument a real man should need….

 

….I hate the system that teaches boys to amputate parts of themselves and then calls the wound masculinity…

 

…Need is human, while entitlement is political. A man needing love, care, intimacy, friendship, sex, belonging, respect, purpose and tenderness is not a problem. Those are human needs, Everyone has them. Everyone is shaped by whether they receive them….

 

…..Patriarchy is killing us. It is killing women through violence, control, medical neglect, forced pregnancy, economic inequality….It is killing men too, through isolation, emotional repression, grievance, politics, violence, addiction, despair (war – my addition) and the lie that being loved is less important than being obeyed. Feminism did not create this crisis. Feminism is just one of the few traditions honest enough to name it….

 

….Men and boys are not in crisis because women got too mean, too educated, too independent, too feminist… They are in crisis because patriarchy promised them a throne and gave them a cage. And some of them are so attached to the cage they cannot even see the bars.

 

 Professor Meredith Bitchy History on Substack

 

I read Professor Meredith’s brilliantly written and sometimes laugh-out-loud funny article while drinking my morning coffee in the garden as the day warmed up. It had been another viciously hot week and being able to sit and enjoy a coffee was a rare treat. The birds were singing and the garden humming with life – so much abundance, so much joy, so much life. 

 

I watched the cats stretch out in the early rays, enjoying the soft breeze before the heat of the day became something to hide from, and I wondered how did we all get so lost? How did we all get so disconnected from how beautiful and magical and abundant life is?

 

The answer is always the same. 

 

A system of hierarchy and control that was created to separate us from the world around us and from each other. Separated and disconnected from the magical abundance of life and our innate creativity, we flap around like fish out of water, desperate to breathe but in completely the wrong environment to do so. 

 

Of course a fish out of water won’t survive long. The GENIUS of patriarchy is to make it survivable but only that – survivable.

 

Let me be clear. Patriarchy is not men. Men are not patriarchy. 

 

Patriarchy is a system of extraction and exploitation. It uses hierarchy as an instrument of control. Of course, if you are slightly up the hierarchical ladder you feel “good” when you look down on those beneath you, but it’s still only survival, just in a slightly nicer suit.

 

To thrive humans need to feel connected. We need intimacy, both platonic and sexual. We need belonging – with an intimate partner (or partners), within a family and within a community of deeply trusted friends. In order to develop and nourish these intimacies we need the emotional skills to ask for what we need/desire and to hear (without defence) what others need/desire from us.

 

We need to reach adulthood skilled in kindness, compassion, love, patience, honesty, courage, open-heartedness, tenderness. We need to be able to feel and safely express the full range of our emotions.

 

But patriarchy does not want us to thrive. A thriving population would learn its collective power and so would strive together, in unison, for independence, self-governance and sovereignty. 

 

You can’t exploit a thriving and empowered population. 

 

You can’t control people who know their own power and see and celebrate the power in the people around them. 

 

You can’t control people who collaborate with one another instead of competing as they have been programmed to do. 

 

But you can control people if you train them from a very young age into roles that will define them, and their relationships with other people, for life. The Jesuits famously proclaimed, “Give me the boy until the age of 7 and I will give you the man.” I watched as my children were conditioned, despite my best efforts, by people and wider society around me.

 

One day particularly stands out in my memory. I had walked the youngest across the fields to meet his school bus at the other end of the village as we did most mornings. We had had a particularly lovely walk, he has always had an incredible, enquiring mind and interesting perspective on the world and I have always deeply valued our chats. 

 

On that morning we were feeling particularly connected and him leaving me to go to school, which would bore his beautiful, inquisitive mind to death, felt like a cruel wrench – for both of us. 

 

The mini-bus drew up as we were swapping red wellies for black school shoes and we both started feeling really emotional – we weren’t ready for the impending separation. Neither of us wanted to be separated (separating children from their families for compulsory education is an essential tool of patriarchy), I was holding back tears and “being brave.” 

 

My little boy was less tightly programmed than me – he was still young, they’d had him for far fewer years than they had had me – and he started crying in great big sobs. It really tugged at my heart, but that was not what was making me want to cry. I wanted to cry because I didn’t want to be parted from my joyous, beautiful boy any more than he wanted to be parted from me.

 

As we stepped onto the bus so that I could settle him into his seat, the old, kindly Santa-look-a-like bus driver said, “Pull it together lad – look you’re making your mother cry – man up!”

 

I was furious. I turned on the sweet old man who was, after all, only repeating the harm done to him, and hissed, “How dare you! Crying is a perfectly acceptable and honest expression of emotion and a sign of a healthy person. DO NOT presume to tell my son how he should behave.”

 

Of course my words were wasted. The damage was done. Patriarchy had won, again. My boy didn’t come home a completely changed being, but it was another brick in the wall. 

 

The kindly Santa-look-a-like bus driver seemingly played a very peripheral role in my son’s life – he only drove the mini bus to and from a school. Yet he was one of the men who raised my son, the men in society beyond my front door, and therefore beyond my control, who taught my boys what it is to be a man. 

 

I am a woman. I cannot raise boys to be men. I am a model for girls, not boys. On that morning the bus driver amputated a part of my young son’s emotional body. My boy carries that wound into adulthood, it was one of the lessons that helped him to define and understand what it is “to be a man.” 

 

It’s such a cliché but in 2016/17 my beautiful boy learned that TO BE A MAN you must:

 

  1. Not cry
  2. Not upset your mother

 

This is a huge wound that needs healing. 

 

Children are NEVER responsible for their parent’s emotional states – that is the job of adults, not children. Yet my young boy had just been told by an older (thus to be respected) MAN (i.e. role model on masculinity for my boy) that he was indeed responsible for my emotional states. 

 

And worse, he learnt this in the year his parents – the people who should keep him safe – were themselves going through a divorce thanks to their own unresolved childhood trauma.

 

I hope that my son, now a young man, will be challenged in relationship to heal this wound. Or maybe he will find a good therapist, a men’s healing group or a shaman skilled in using plant medicine? Sadly the wound is below the level of consciousness and he lives in a society in which carrying this wound is the entry criteria to “masculinity.”

 

So, when after a particularly beautiful and intimate session with a client, lying, limbs entangled on the bed, he mused that feminism had gone too far and made intimacy too difficult for men and women I was honestly lost for words (a rare event for me!)

 

I clearly live in a completely different algorithmic world to him. I am not fed manosphere diatribes against feminism, I am fed Bitchy History diatribes against patriarchy! I am not reading that the feminist fight for bodily self autonomy and the right to choice in our lives is somehow to blame for the crisis in “masculinity.”

 

I think he thought that because I am a sexually active woman who loves cock and offers a professional sex service I am somehow not a feminist? I took a deep breath, reminded myself to be kind and said something like, “How does women having choice harm men?”

 

Flustered, (he obviously realised a bit too late that he had ejaculated all over a real life feminist) he replied, “No….but it’s gone a bit too far hasn’t it?”

 

“In what way?” I asked.

 

When he didn’t reply I offered, “It seems to me that you think feminism is some kind of war against men? It really isn’t. It’s a war against a system of oppression and control that harms men just as much as it harms women. If only men could see how trapped and exploited they are and then either join women in fighting patriarchy as feminists or create a parallel movement to fight with us for freedom for us all?”

 

I had said too much. The cognitive dissonance was writ large on his face and he muttered about not being as well read as me and fled to the shower. 

 

When you’re not enduring a relationship with a man who’s stuck in the algorithmic manosphere it is easy to have compassion for them. They are clearly being manipulated into hating and fearing THEIR PATH TO FREEDOM. 

 

Yes women were the first (of the two genders) to see that patriarchy is shit, we’ve read, written, talked, marched and even self-pleasured our way towards freedom and we love nothing more than when men (with the beautiful cocks we so enjoy sucking and fucking) join us in that fight.

 

But obviously patriarchy is going to fight back. Obviously the machine will pay to boost a few toxic individuals who eagerly tell men, “It’s all women’s fault” to keep men from the warrior women who could work with them towards freedom, power, personal sovereignty and meaningful connected community.

 

The cage that patriarchy works so hard to keep men in is incredibly brutal. From birth boys are conditioned to disconnect from, suppress, judge and shame essentially human traits. Let’s list just a few:

 

Sensitivity – being alert and receptive to the mood in the room, your own and other’s emotions, states of wellbeing and energies. Shut down because a “sensitive man” is a sissy. (Patriarchy doesn’t only seek to shut down sensitivity in men – I was raised in a family that used the label “over-sensitive” not as a compliment, but as an affliction to grow out of.)

 

Collaboration and cooperation – sacrificed on the altar of competition as boys are taught that being Number 1 – A Winner – is more desirable than working collectively within community to reach an outcome that benefits everyone.

 

Kindness – left to women.

 

Compassion – left to women.

 

Empathy – left to women.

 

Tenderness – what even is that? Definitely left to women.

 

Crying – don’t ever do this!! And never, ever allow yourself to feel anything that might make you cry. Crying effectively equals woman. Only women and babies cry. A man who cries is effectively cutting off his own balls. 

 

Which brings me onto: 

 

Circumcision – the single most effective and brutal act inflicted by patriarchy on infant boys. You cannot argue that it’s not both cruel and unnecessary, yet half the planet is still circumcising their infant boys who live with the consequences of trauma and reduced sensitivity for life. 

 

You still think patriarchy is something you want to defend by attacking feminists?!

 

In my session today I was very preoccupied with the concept of tenderness. What would tenderness even look like in a man? What is tenderness? How is a man tender? 

 

I was musing over these questions as I lit my candles and incense, connected my playlist to the speaker, showered, dressed, applied lipstick and mascara. Could I think of a moment when I had witnessed or experienced tenderness in a man?

 

My client arrived – a Musubi/Kama session – I invited him to undress and lie down and guided him through a short body meditation. He relaxed quickly and fell into a deep trance, “excellent” I thought. I asked him to roll over onto his front which he did almost without stirring, again – “excellent” I thought. 

 

His body reacted quickly to the massage and despite the heat in the room I gave him a really sexy, deeply sensual and highly erotic massage. He hadn’t been sure whether he wanted a prostate massage, I had suggested that we follow his body’s desires (or lack of) and go where the energy flowed. His body screamed for a prostate massage – all the classic signs – bum pushing up towards my hands as they glided over it, relaxed buttocks, soft anal rose. 

 

Gingerly and very slowly, I entered him. I applied gentle pressure to his prostate whilst I stroked his shaft, frenulum and balls with my free hand. He was moaning with pleasure, his cock hard, he was pushing back against my finger, but I knew this was the first time for him and I know the released energies are powerful. He had a beautiful cock which I wanted to feel deep down my throat and deep inside in my cunt, I didn’t want to make his energy too powerful for him to ride.

 

So I withdrew my finger and sat astride him, grinding my vulva into his buttocks for a few moments, moving the energy I had just activated between and around our two bodies, while I removed the glove I had worn to penetrate him. Then I leant forward and whispered in his ear, “Roll over.” I raised myself up allowing him to roll over underneath me so that as his face came around he was met with an eyeful of oily breast. 

 

He immediately took hold of them and buried his face deep into their generous flesh, his fingers finding my nipples which you will know, if you have ever spent any time with me, always makes me come. He hadn’t met me before, he felt my juices beginning to flow over his cock and between his legs, “That feels amazing” he sighed. 

 

“Pinch harder” I replied, kissing him full on the mouth knowing that what was about to come would blow his mind as it always does. He pinched and then, as invited, bit down on my nipples. The heavens opened, the longed for rain gushed over him and he was soaked. 

 

 It was too much for him. 

 

“I’m going to come,” he gasped. I could see him desperately fighting the urge to come, tensing his body, tightening his face – tension and tightness accelerate the process and before I could coach him into long gentle exhales to relax and allow, he had come – copious amounts of beautiful sperm all over his sacrum and hip, my thigh and the bed. There is something endlessly magical and miraculous about sperm isn’t there?

 

His exhilaration and intense pleasure was immediately fighting disappointment and shame. 

 

Disappointment that his session – for him – had come to an end and shame that he had failed to control his pleasure and come “too soon.” I could see his inner turmoil and frustration and I did what any self respecting tantric whore would do, I invited him to relax and receive pleasure in a softer, gentler, calmer state.

 

I have brought countless men to orgasm post ejaculation. Many are only too pleased to lie and fully relax, even sleep lightly, as I work my magic with my hands. Post ejaculation men can fall into a deep, deep place of relaxation and in this place it is so much easier to move energy around the body. Very often, whilst almost asleep, they will then feel the unfamiliar experience of orgasmic energy in their chest, arms, hands, legs, feet.

 

Their cock hardens but hasn’t got the same urgency to come because they are so deeply relaxed. It’s beautiful to watch and very empowering. Yes, I was sad not to ride my client’s cock today, but I was equally excited about pleasing him as he dozed off, building his energy until we were both caught up in the dance again.

 

We had plenty of time left on the clock. I wiped away the sperm, picked up my little bottle of coconut oil and settled myself between his legs to give exquisite pleasure.

 

“Thank you, that was amazing. Can I have a shower?” said the voice at the other end of the bed.

 

“Would you not accept my invitation to receive pleasure in a softer, gentler, quieter state?”

 

He lay quietly for a bit, but his legs stayed upright, feet planted on the bed either side of me, knees restricting the movement of my arms, creating a protective barrier around his cock. This was not a body open to receiving or relaxing back into pleasure.

 

I persevered. I stroked, twisted, licked and even sucked his beautiful soft cock. At moments it throbbed its appreciation and I smiled back, “I know it’s lovely to experience tenderness.”

 

TENDERNESS. 

 

That word again. In that moment I was in the wound. And I understood what tenderness is. 

 

Tenderness is softness. 

 

Tenderness is being soft, feeling soft, sharing soft.

 

Pleasure can be so soft – think of a feather stroking across skin. But men are conditioned to expect and require their cocks to be hard. Only a hard cock earns the right to be grasped, stroked, teased, licked, sucked, fucked. 

 

My client today was clearly deeply uncomfortable receiving pleasure in softness. His cock wasn’t. It was throbbing appreciatively in my hands and mouth. But his mind – the seat of patriarchal conditioning – was roaring NO!!! YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THIS!!

 

When he asked again if he could go and have a shower of course I didn’t deny his request. I was sad that he was unable to receive my loving attention post ejaculation, but I wasn’t going to force myself on him. 

 

I smiled, held his cock in one hand, placed the other on his heart chakra, took a few deep heart connected breaths, sent my love through my hands to his heart and his cock and then withdrew my touch and escorted him to the bathroom.

 

And I’m left with a new question to muse over this afternoon – how can a man show tenderness towards others, his partner, children, friends, society, the planet when he can’t allow himself to feel tenderness within himself? 

 

If he’s uncomfortable with being soft, how can he give the people in his life and beyond, the softness that they yearn for, crave and need? 

 

Can you feel the wound?

 

Can you see how patriarchy harms men and the people that they love?

 

Are you beginning to see the bars of the cage?

 

Are you ready to join us in resistance to reclaim your personal sovereignty, or will you carry on blaming women?

 

26.06.2026

 

Photo by Nour Wageh on Unsplash  

Nurturing Intimacy in The Marital Bedroom – How Can Whores Help?

Whores exist to sell sex, there’s no “intimacy” involved, everyone knows that!

 

Wrong my darlings, wrong.

 

Whores may sell sex, but they give intimacy – they use their knowledge, skills and bodies to guide their clients into a place of deep intimacy.

 

Humans are hard wired to need both sex and intimacy. All of us, men and women, need lives filled with sex and intimacy to thrive physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. 

 

Sadly there is a distinct lack of both in the world at the moment. Sex seems to be everywhere – it’s certainly all over our computer and television screens – but screen sex is to sex what MacDonald’s is to food – it might taste good as you eat it but as soon as you have finished your meal you begin to feel queasy and long term use will slowly destroy all vitality you ever had in your body.

 

Real sex, the sex that is nourishing for your body, mind and soul is increasingly rare and I would suggest that is because intimacy is also increasingly rare.

 

Let me begin by explaining what I mean when I use the word “intimacy”. 

 

Intimacy is derived from the Latin “intimus” meaning “innermost” or “deepest”. Applicable both to your deep feelings for another person, and an innermost/deepest experience within yourself. In other words, intimacy is the word given to the deep connection you are able to make both within yourself and with others.

 

However, and there is a big, painful, however. Intimacy can only be experienced when there are no blocks to intimacy in an individual or a couple. And what blocks intimacy? One word. Fear. 

 

Fundamentally, you are only able to experience intimacy (with self or others) to the same extent that you are free from fear within yourself and with others. Intimacy requires that you feel safe within yourself and with others. 

 

Sadly, sex which can be a powerful means to build intimacy, is very often riddled with fear. 

 

From a young age our minds are filled with fear around sex by anxious parents, awful (if existing) sex-ed in schools, The Church (and other places of worship), the media, big pharma (peddling their expensive and toxic drugs), our friends and wider society – all telling us that sex is something that is difficult, dangerous and harmful. So that by the time many (maybe most) of us reach the age when we start feeling sexual stirrings we are not only ignorant, but also terrified, about how to act upon them.

 

Our bodies carry yet more fear. 1,000s of years of shit sex alone have traumatised the collective feminine. Trauma is carried through our bodies intergenerationally. The egg that became my daughter was in me when I was inside my mother’s womb so that any trauma my mother experienced, sexual or otherwise, was imprinted not only in me, but also in my daughter. Add to that the trauma our bodies experience in this lifetime (including shit consensual sex).

 

My contention is that men haven’t fared much better. It’s pretty obvious to me that causing harm to other people ultimately harms you. Up until 1991 (when marital rape was criminalised in the UK) the law may have been on a man’s side when he claimed his conjugal rights, but if the woman’s body flinched and withdrew from his touch as she endured his claim, it would have been harmful to him at an energetic level if not consciously. 

 

Further, however well intentioned and loving men are individually (and most truly, truly are), they have been raised in a society which for 5,000 plus years has sexually harmed women, often just by insisting that she “enjoy” unpleasurable (aka harmful) sex because that’s what God says is the “right” way.

 

The combination of fear in our minds – fear of shame, fear of sin, fear of harm, fear of failure, fear of pregnancy, fear of disease, fear of rejection, fear of laughter, fear of orgasm (le petit mort), even fear of death (le grand mort – for those of us who grew up in the shadow of HIV) – with the fear we carry in our bodies – the physical memory of trauma from this life, a past life or even inter-generational, creates an enormous block to intimacy in sex.

 

Fearful people cannot develop intimacy – a place of safety – within their own bodies, let alone anyone else’s. So sex becomes rushed, reluctant, functional, mechanical, predictable, dull, boring and fails to light up our bodies, or our relationships. 

 

Intimacy is needed to experience good sex. Good sex is needed to develop intimacy. 

 

The challenge for all of us – those in relationships and those looking for relationships – is how do we create intimacy so that we can love better? 

 

How can we connect better? 

 

How do we find belonging? 

 

We all need to feel safe, to feel loved and to belong. But childhood trauma, inherited trauma and the collective trauma makes this very complicated for us. 

 

Surely one incredibly important step we need to take to find the love, connection and belonging that we need is to identify our needs, wants and desires and then to communicate them to those closest to us in our lives, especially our relationship partner.

 

Humans evolved the most brilliant means of communication – it’s the reason our brains grew and the reason we created pretty much everything we have in our modern lives. Humans communicate through talk – words expressed by a mouth and heard by another’s ear. Talk literally evolved humans, so surely communication through talk should be easy in our relationships?

 

I’m very struck by the silence men are reared to conform to. In England it’s long been called the “Stiff upper lip” and it’s revered as one of the most essential of English qualities. We send our boys off to boarding schools, sometimes at incredibly young ages, separating them from the warm, chatty women in their lives in order to instill this omertà. 

 

It’s not only English men who are stripped of that most essential of human traits – the ability to communicate by talking with others and raised to bear it all in silence. It seems to me, to some extent or another, silence in men is highly valued across the western world as a sign of masculinity.

 

Omertà, staying quiet, not saying out loud how you feel, not asking for help, not feeling or showing any vulnerability is both highly prized by patriarchy and immensely damaging to men who suffer in silence and alone in their millions. 

 

The suicide rate for men in the UK is almost 3 times higher than it is in women, coping alone, not feeling and sharing their feelings, not talking, not asking for their needs to be met has an enormous toll on our men. This should trouble everyone. It certainly troubles this whore.

 

As many women know, and all whores know, men DO talk and they’re capable of sharing deep truths when they feel safe. Men need safety and intimacy just as much as women do. 

 

What does a man need to feel safe? Again, whores know this. 

 

They need physical, sensual, sexual touch. They need to be held close and feel physically held and loved. 

 

Fucking really, really, really helps a man to talk and to cry – there is something deeply healing for a man about feeling his penis held inside a vagina (I suspect this is partly about returning to the safety and unconditional love he last felt when he was inside the womb). 

 

Esther Perel theorises (from a career spent working with couples) that whilst women need to talk in order to feel safe enough to fuck, men need to fuck in order to feel safe enough to talk.

 

This is fine when you are in a well functioning relationship and learn to do enough of both to satisfy both parties. But how do you get your floundering relationship back on track when you need the opposite things to feel safe enough to re-build intimacy between you?

 

Currently, in a society which believes in the binary nature of gender and uses biology to prove that we are different “by nature” rather than 1,000s of years of patriarchal indoctrination, I don’t see much hope for deep intimacy in most monogamous marital bedrooms. I just don’t. 

 

There’s a chasm between men who need/want sex and women who need/want talk in order to feel safe enough to give the other one what they need to feel safe. Resulting in an ever growing lack of safety in our relationships. 

 

Lacking the intimacy we need, most of us fail to articulate our needs, desires and wants but still expect them to be met. We look to our relationship partners to heal the childhood wounding we brought into the relationship with us even when, most often, we are unaware of the wounding we are carrying. 

 

We feel hurt, angry and upset when our partners fail to meet our (unacknowledged and unarticulated) needs and express ourselves clearly in tears, tantrums and fights, but, lacking intimacy, we never manage to dig deep enough to understand the underlying wounding.  

 

We get stuck in a negative spiral of unmet needs leading to emotional tempestuousness creating an unsafe environment in which we cannot learn about, let alone express, our deeply held unmet needs. 

 

We have all been in at least one relationship like this. The lucky ones find good quality help to break the cycle. The unlucky ones continue to suffer and pass the trauma down another generation and most likely spiral through a few relationships in exactly the same way before declaring they have “Given up on men/women (delete as appropriate).”

 

Maybe this is why, when whores worked in the temples, women – wives, mothers, sisters, cousins – took their men to the temple whores to Have the war taken out of them”

 

I genuinely don’t know whether men and women need different things to feel safe because of biology or socialisation. What I do know is that men currently feel very unsafe and it shows up in all sorts of toxic and aggressive ways. 

 

So much better for them to visit a whore – like someone with a bad back visits a chiropractor – to help them heal the pain within. Sadly, as much as men crave to feel loved, held, nurtured and cared for, if they’re not lucky enough to have this in their relationship, they don’t have a safe place to go. 

 

Downgrading the once revered position of the temple whore to the denigrated prostitute has (purposefully?) not created a safe, healing space for our men. Far too many men have reached for a moment of connection only to have gained themselves months, if not years of shame.

 

Dis-empowered prostitutes can’t keep their clients safe. They can’t hold space, they can’t define their terms, their hours, their way of working – which obviously harms them but it also harms the men who visit them. 

 

When wives, exhausted by long days of caring for young children or from climbing up the corporate ladder, or whilst dealing with the upheaval of menopause can’t reach their once beloved partners but want to help them feel good about themselves again, who can they take their men to with deep confidence? 

 

Heck, who can these women go to themselves to reconnect to the pleasure of their orgasm?

 

I am a whore and I am also a wife. I want my husband to thrive and I want our relationship to thrive because I want to live inside a thriving life! Despite my whore’s skills, understanding and knowledge I find it difficult to always be the person my husband needs and when our needs conflict we can easily spiral. 

 

Fortunately we have worked together for over a decade to learn how to reverse the spiral quickly, but I know what it feels like. I know how anger and resentment builds a wall between us that at least one of us has to use significant energy to scale or demolish. I know how quickly a misspoken word leads to sleeping in separate beds, hard faces and words being replaced by grunts. 

 

I know the pain of loneliness inside a relationship that is no longer intimate. 

 

This is where modern whores can be of service as our predecessors in the temple were. We can be a dispassionate third party with infinite love, compassion, tenderness, magic and sexual healing and act as a pattern disruptor in a spiralling relationship. Only one person in the relationship needs the energy to scale or demolish the wall that blocks intimacy. Whores can reconnect that one person to their energy, their light and their love.

 

Renewed men can then return home to their tired, angry, lonely, sad, frightened (and “frigid”) wives and show them how loved they are. Renewed men can take on the divine masculine role of holding their wives and giving them the love that they so desperately need. As Otis Reading sang: 

 

“Oh she may be weary

And young girls they do get weary

Wearing that same old shaggy dress

But when she gets weary

Try a little tenderness….” 

 

Intimacy is created in a space that is free from fear. Men and women alike desire and need intimacy to flourish and thrive. Maintaining intimacy is a challenging and constant job – like carrying grey water from my kitchen sink and showers out to my garden through the long, hot and very dry summer of 2026. It’s hard, if not impossible to do it on your own. But relationships, like gardens, will die if they are not watered. 

 

The temple priestesses restored men to their true power. They helped them to be better fathers, lovers, sons, husbands.  I truly believe that when enough prostitutes say “ENOUGH” at being downtrodden and despised and instead declare, “I AM A WHORE AND I AM PROUD!!”  we will be able to activate immense healing in relationships on this planet. Healed relationships raise happier children who do not find themselves repeating the toxic relationship pattern in adulthood. 

 

Yep, I said that, whores help you raise happier children!

 

A whore’s healing power is temporarily in her hands and in her cunt, but truly, it’s what her knowledge and skills reconnect her clients to – a safe, sacred space and energy within their own bodies because, ultimately intimacy is an inside job. 

 

We re-connect with ourselves first and from there we reconnect with our partners. The whore reconnects people to the divine light and love that is within them – has always been within them – but has been dimmed by so many years living in a toxic society.

 

When a client drives away from my house they don’t leave filled with shame and regret. They leave feeling renewed, feeling seen, feeling loved. None of this is an illusion, it’s all truth. I do see them – their unique essence, their divine beauty. I interact with their energy. I connect with their soul.

 

I truly hope that my married clients return to their homes feeling healthier, happier and able to give their spouses the love and attention they desire and need. I am aware most wives don’t know about me and that they’d be furious if they found out. 

 

But I’m not their competition or enemy, I am actually, not only helping their marriage stay together, I am also quietly coaching their husbands on how to show up more for their wives, to sit and listen as she talks about the children, her day, what Doris next door has just done. To be present for her and her need to talk and be properly listened to so that she is drawn back into intimacy with him.

 

If wives don’t want to fuck their husbands to help them feel safe enough to talk then allow me to do the honour! And I do consider it an honour. We could work together so well if only they’d open their hearts and minds to the possibilities. 

 

I hope that my blog posts help to shift perceptions to make this happen. But until such a miracle occurs I’ll continue to do my bit and send my clients home with a big smile on their faces and renewed intent to buy some flowers, make eye contact, ask generously, “How was your day darling?” and remember to put his underwear in the laundry basket.

 

Does it matter how a home becomes more harmonious? 

 

Does it matter who helps a couple to find safety with each other again? 

 

If a whore (working in the shadows until she is welcomed back into the light) has the skills to help rebuild loving intimacy in a relationship shouldn’t we celebrate her rather than feel threatened by her? 

 

Everyone in society gains when whores are restored to their rightful place – honoured and revered sexual shaman who’s healing work with men and women frees them from fears and rebuilds intimacy in their bodies and relationships.

 

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash 

 

Recommended Further Reading: 

 

“Odd Man Out – Breaking the Vow of Male Silence” by Nige Atkinson 

 

“Mating in Captivity – How to Keep Desire Alive in Long-Term Relationships” By Esther Perel

 

“Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples” By Harville Hendrix

I Lost All Touch & Sexual Intimacy in my Life – This Powerful Practice Brought it Back

 

“I really needed that!” he said, collapsing on top of me. The condom had done what condoms do and killed his erection; I moved my hand down his chest to remove it and let it drop over the side of the bed – I would tidy it away later.

 

“That is the first time I have felt a woman’s touch, let alone been inside her, for…..” he counted quietly in his head, “6 years.” I held him close, kissed him deeply, and allowed the lips of my labia to wrap around his softening cock. His pain was palpable.

 

It’s been a long time since I was in his shoes. For me it was the years filled with babies and young children when my then husband and I were both too exhausted to think about, let alone do, sex. I remember only too well what the lack of touch did to me. 

 

The feelings of aloneness, the emptiness, the way days lost their sparkle, how everything got just a little bit heavier, how my smile became a thing of the past. I remember how days became months, became years and then I found myself in a GP’s surgery being prescribed anti-depressants to stop me from killing myself. 

 

Lack of physical touch has a catastrophic effect on us. We are hardwired for touch. As a species we need touch and lots of it to remain healthy – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and yes, even physically. 

 

I now look back on my conversation with the GP with a whore’s wry smile, very much tinged with sadness. She was a very sweet, well meaning young woman who messaged reception to tell them she would need more time as soon as she looked at my “Depression Score” questionnaire. For the NHS she was very generous with her time which she used to insist that I get counselling as a condition for being  prescribed antidepressants. 

 

Counselling – talk therapy. 

 

Talk was better than nothing. But what I really, really, really needed was touch. 

 

Like my client today needed touch. 

 

Lack of touch has resulted in him also being prescribed antidepressants – another win for big pharma but a loss for him – they affect the strength of his erection which is never positive for a man. And here he was collapsed, buzzing with happiness and aliveness in my arms, his whole body vibrating with the pleasure of feeling a woman underneath him and wrapped around him. 

 

I made as much use as I could of every part of my body, my mouth pulled his into long deep kisses, my pelvis pushed up against him, my arms moved across his back and over his head, my thighs held him close, my feet stroked his legs and buttocks. I wanted to touch all of him with all of me. I wanted him to feel completely held and loved and showered with touch.

 

Touch is magical and it did its magic. The energy within our bodies criss-crossed between us, my turn on feeding his turn on which in turn fed mine. 

 

I had yet to feel his cock in my mouth and I deeply desired to. Earlier he had feasted on my cunt so hard and greedily I had been taken aback, his desire to be buried nose deep inside me had forced me back onto the pillow in deep surrender. Rarely has oral sex felt so penetrating! 

 

I wanted to feel his lips, his tongue, his stubble on me, and in me, again, but I wanted it with his cock pushing into my throat, deeper and deeper and deeper.

 

The session had begun with a meditation and massage as all my Musubi/Kama sessions do – very calm, deeply loving, an invitation to relax and receive. His sensitive body, so long deprived of physical contact with another human, had quivered in response to my first touch – the gentle laying of my palms, oil free, on his sacral and heart chakras at the start of the massage. By the time I was massaging the small of his back and his buttocks with my oily pubic mound the energy between us was intense. 

 

He is a very, very sexy man, a powerful lover who is intense in giving and receiving touch. I think it’s criminal that this beautiful man has been on the “no sex” shelf since the birth of his child – 15 years ago – with absolutely no touch for 6 years! 

 

I think it was criminal that I was on a similar shelf, also for about 6 years with no touch.

 

I know that he and I are far from alone. 

 

So, so, so many of my clients tell me that sex was great until the birth of their children since when they barely have any sex and little more touch. Men and women seem to lose the ability to connect with each other with touch once children are in the home. 

 

Women turn to the bottle of cold white that is always ready, waiting in the fridge and men turn to readily available porn or professionals.  

 

What happens in our relationships? 

 

They start out so sexy and full of excitement, we can’t keep our hands off each other, and can’t imagine a day when the magic might die, then one day we end up in the GP’s surgery being prescribed anti-depressants because our beloved can no longer be persuaded to touch us, no matter how hard we beg?! 

 

What is going on??

 

Life is stressful, I get that, and children as wonderful as they are, undoubtedly increase the stress load. But surely when life is stressful you would turn to your partner for comfort and nourishment? 

 

Why do we respond to stress by not leaning into each other but by pulling away from each other? That seems like a crazy act of self harm, but we all do it.

 

Why?

 

Here’s a novel idea for you. I will share some theory first and then a practical experience.

 

Under patriarchy, the sexy, caring feminine has been split in two. 

 

On the one hand we have the sexually available woman – the “whore” – represented by Mary Magdalene. 

 

On the other hand we have the virginal mother represented by The Virgin Mary. 

 

Whether you are a biological mother or not I believe that, in the West, you carry within you what I and others call the “Mother/Whore Split”. 

 

Furthermore, I believe we have projected onto us, by our men and wider society, a deeply held belief that women are either “Whores” (exciting, sexy, intoxicating, beautiful, dangerous, scorned, excluded members of the community) OR “Mothers” (loving, giving, nourishing, kind, upstanding, responsible, comfortable, included members of the community). Never both.

 

Men want to fuck the former and marry the latter.

 

I need to stress that this is a societal construct, i.e. a belief that is encultured into us from birth, for lifetime after lifetime. I do not believe this split is in any way “natural” and that it has only become to feel “normal” because so many of us carry this as a belief within us. 

 

For most of us the “Mother/Whore Split” is buried deep within our subconscious, i.e. below the level of conscious knowing. 

 

I probably wouldn’t be aware of mine had I not met the “Crazy Lady” in the village who invited me on a spiritual training course she was delivering. The course changed my life, no doubt about it, and the most powerful practice was the one in which I healed my “Mother/Whore Split.”

 

“Crazy Lady” explained how in our nervous systems we split off parts of ourselves that hold incompatible beliefs, creating different voices, even personalities, within us. This all happens within our subconscious and goes a long way towards explaining why you fail to get the things you desire most in life – a part of you is working against your goals or desires without you consciously knowing or understanding what is going on.

 

“Parts Integration” is a powerful tool to bring the differing parts together to help you move forward in life in one clear direction and we were going to learn how to do it. 

 

We were asked to think of a problem that was deeply affecting us in our lives. Where others chose things like “difficult boss” or “not enough money,”  I was quick to identify “lack of sex or any kind of touch in my marriage” as my number 1, most pressing problem, the one that, if I could solve, would make my life inordinately better. 

 

I had married a man, who when I was younger had had incredible sex with. We both had high sex drives and enjoyed a lot of truly beautiful times together. But conceiving children had completely destroyed our sex. 

 

Whilst pregnant I was hornier than ever (not uncommon apparently) I would have fucked anyone, but I was in a monogamous marriage and I had vowed, in a church, to be faithful to my husband. If he didn’t want sex with me then I had to accept I didn’t have sex. 

 

At first I thought my ballooning body was the problem, but even after the birth of our children our sex life never returned to what it had been before I had conceived. 

 

Because I wanted sex so badly I figured the problem was him. But I was on a training course that repeatedly reminded us that the only person you can change is yourself, so I was the problem that I took into the practice. 

 

I had never heard of the “Mother/Whore Split” before the practice. My fellow trainee (the coach) asked me to identify two opposing voices in me that had differing opinions on my presenting problem: “lack of sex or any kind of touch in my marriage.”

 

It was quite easy to identify sexually frustrated me – a woman who missed sexual intimacy with the man she loved, who missed the blissful joy of orgasm, who missed the sexy man she had married – the way he used to look at her, hold her and fuck her. This woman was sexually lascivious and as my coach asked me to connect with her and describe her words like slut, greedy, exciting, fun, happy, sexy, orgasmic and powerful flowed out of me. 

 

This part of me (the “Whore”) flicked her hair back, looked you straight in the eye, wore push up bras & thongs, and swayed her hips as she walked past you. She was young, free and single and oozed sex appeal.

 

The other me was quite dowdy by comparison. She was tired, responsible, kind, caring, constantly on the go meeting other people’s expectations and needs. She was the new me – wearing granny knickers from M&S, leggings, DMs, long flowing tops in muted colours, her uncut, uncoloured hair was pulled back into a pony tail. She wore lip salve instead of lipstick and smiled less, which saddened me. She was short tempered and very managing – she had a lot to manage. 

 

My “Mother” part, it turned out, was slightly sneering towards sex, “Who has time for that?” she would say.

 

The reason why coaching is such a powerful process is because the coach asks layer after layer of questions which brings up to the surface long buried beliefs, locked deep in the subconscious that you are completely unaware of. 

 

I found it remarkable that I had within me a part that was so sneering towards sex. I was desperate for sex! And yet I clearly had a part in my own nervous system that was pushing it away?!

 

No wonder my husband steered clear of me – who knew which “me” he was going to get?!

 

Having identified these two parts within me, I was then invited to bring the Whore part onto one palm and my Mother part onto the other. Please picture the scene, I was sitting on a straight backed chair, both feet on the floor, holding my arms out in front of me, shoulder width apart, palms facing upwards with the Whore on one palm, the Mother on the other.

 

For a while they both just sat there. Eyes closed, I was coached to connect with the feeling of each of them in my body, and then the essence of each of them sitting separately on my separated palms. 

 

Then, very slowly, I was guided to draw my palms together, to integrate the two separate parts into one integrated whole. All the time my coach was talking very, very quietly encouraging my hands to join so that my separate, un-aligned parts would integrate. 

 

Most people ask at this point, did it work?

 

Well I think you can answer that for yourself!

 

I am both an active mother and an active whore.

 

Allowing space for my Whore to be fully expressed has enabled me to be the Mother I wanted to be. 

 

I wanted to earn well so that I could provide my children with a good life and I wanted to be present for them. I wanted to be at the school gates when they finished school, I wanted to cook them evening meals, help them with their homework and get them to after school clubs. 

 

You can’t do all this if you join the corporate treadmill and work hours that suit an employer but not a family. 

 

And of course, I wanted lots and lots of beautiful sexual experiences.

 

Within months of doing this practice I had met The Boyfriend, a year later I met The Lover, was actively polyamorous and well on my way to becoming a professional whore. I have done hours and hours of spiritual training, for me this half hour practice is probably the one that changed my life the most.

 

Initially I thought the “Mother/Whore Split” was a uniquely “me” thing. Then I started noticing other people talking and writing about it and I realised that this is a societal thing, not a “me” thing.

 

Listen to women talking about sex and/or their husbands. It is incredible how quickly the excitement of the honeymoon period where the Whore is pre-eminent gives way to the sneering Mother who is “too busy for that sort of nonsense.” Much to their husband’s dismay, and I would argue, to their own physical, emotional and spiritual cost. 

 

Of course, there is much more going on for these women in their relationships and their lives which plays a role in their declining sexual interest in their men (not least your pants on the bedroom floor guys!!) but I have personal experience of the incredible power of integrating these two common personalities within one’s own nervous system.

 

And, of course, this split isn’t restricted to women. If you are a woman reading this, look for it within yourself. If you are a man reading these words, do the same. Examine your own beliefs around women and sexuality. 

 

Maybe begin with a provoking question like, “How do you feel about whores? Do you see them as exciting and enticing women and/or do you judge them as fallen women, victims of circumstance to be pitied and shamed?”

 

Go on to ask yourself, “Would you marry a whore?”

 

“How would you feel if your wife told you she wanted to leave her boring, badly paid 9 to 5 to set herself up as a whore?”

 

I have lost count of the number of times a man has told me that he once had incredible sex with a certain woman, but he didn’t marry her. In answer to my question, “Why not?” I am told something along the lines of, “She wasn’t the right kind of girl to marry, d’you know what I mean?” 

 

That there is the “Mother/Whore Split” in men! And it is really common.

 

I believe that many, many men carry the “Mother/Whore Split” within them. I hear it when they are slut shaming a woman for being openly sexual – they both desire the slut and judge her because “good” women i.e. “Mothers” are non-sexual, or at most only passively sexual.

 

Where this split in men takes on a whole new flavour is when they’ve paid to enjoy the Whore but found themselves nuzzling into the Mother. 

 

As someone who has integrated Mother and Whore within my nervous system I am, like the temple priestesses before me, able to be both incredibly sexual with my clients and give them tender, motherly love during my sessions. I even theorise that the reason why men crave to feel their cocks inside a woman so badly is because, at some level, a part of them wants to return to the safety and unconditional love of the womb. 

 

An integrated lover can give a man this. She can entice, beguile, arouse, seduce, excite and also care, nourish, comfort and love him.

 

If I were to set up a school for whores or a whore certification course (I think both are illegal in the UK) the first thing I would have every one of my trainees do is integrate their “Mother” and “Whore” parts.

 

A sexually integrated woman is far more certain and confident in her sexuality, in her body and in her life. How could you do this work if a part of you were judging you, sneering at you and shaming you for doing it? It would create a chaotic energy for both client and whore. 

 

The role of the whore is to heal, initiate and guide people from one broken, dysfunctional model of sex to another, kinder, more holistic, even sacred, model. Whores can’t heal in others what they haven’t healed in themselves. Modern day whores are only a fraction as powerful as the women who worked in the Temple of Horus but we have to start somewhere. 

 

For me the place to start is with integrating the Mother/Whore Split, I guess because that is where I started?

 

Before he left, I got what I wanted from my very sexy client – we spent quite a while with me on top of him in my favourite position – 69. By gripping the base of his cock with a circle of index finger and thumb I could hold his turn-on in the top two thirds of his shaft so my throat had to open wider and wider to take what felt like a very strong erection. At the other end he was feasting on me as powerfully as he had earlier – my body was singing with orgasm. 

 

When I couldn’t take any more and thought I needed a break, I rolled off him slightly, but then found that lying, heads on each other’s thighs was an even better position to pleasure each other. Thrusting our pelvises slightly we could fuck each other’s mouths. I felt like the cat that had got the cream!

 

Like I do almost every day, I deeply appreciated and celebrated my life and adventures as a whore. It is inconceivable to me now that I would do a “normal” job and not get to connect with such beautiful people in this beautiful way and make really good money by doing so!

 

At the end he showered, paid me and left. I showered, threw the used condom in the bin, went downstairs and spent the afternoon sitting in the garden writing this – until the kids all drifted home and we had a delicious family supper together as the heat of the day died down. At the end of the night I curled up in bed beside my delicious husband and, before we drifted into sleep, had more sex 🙂 

 

An integrated life is very, very, very good.

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